Lost in (cultural) Translation

Last Wednesday here was a holiday, so most of the schools and shops were closed for the day. My neighbors downstairs had a brunch with several of their relatives. They were having omelets and fresh lebaneh (similar to Greek yogurt) with vegetables, very delicious. I had brought the kids downstairs to the garden for some playtime, as they were getting a little antsy. So of course, my neighbors, being the hospitable people they are, invited me and the kids to have some food. I sat down with them and started chatting with the wife of my neighbor's brother (I'll call her Lina). I asked her how her work was, how her kids were doing, etc. Then, after about five minutes into the conversation, Lina exclaimed, "inti nas-Haani!" I was a little taken aback for a second, then I turn to my neighbor Reem and ask her, "Did she just say I'm getting fat?!"
"Um...yes?" Reem said this like it was a question, then frowned. "Is there something wrong with that?"
By this time the humor of the situation was starting to dawn on me, and I laughed. Both of the ladies are looking at me strangely at this point, so I explained, "We don't usually say that to other women in my culture."
"Oh," Reem said. "It's like an insult?"
"Usually, yes."
She explained that to her sister-in-law, who looked a little embarrassed and exclaimed, "La, binaasibik! Binaasibik!" (No no, it suites you, you look fine!)
"Mish mushkili, mish mushkili." (no problem) I told her that I probably look a little bigger because last time I saw her, I was still breastfeeding my daughter, so my breasts have gotten smaller since then, and that makes everything else look bigger. We laughed it off and started talking about other things.

But that got me thinking about how often that happens here. A friend of mine who works at the English hospital was telling the ladies how she breastfed her daughter for a year and eight months (which is very strange here, people rarely breastfeed more than six months). They told her, "It shows, you don't have anything left there!" Not amusing.

Or take another friend of mine who's getting married to an Arab man here this summer. She just officially moved to Nazareth from the US and is in the process of getting her house set up, and getting to know her in-laws a little better. His family has a habit of grabbing her cheeks and pinching them, saying, "Look at those CHEEKS!" It's cute when you're a baby, not a twenty-six year old woman, but apparently it's culturally permissible here.

I think women are just not as self conscious about body image here, like they are in the States. I was on Amazon.com last night looking at books, and I couldn't believe how many dieting books were on the "Top Sellers" list. I don't think I've ever seen a dieting book in Arabic here (maybe there are some in Hebrew, but since I don't read Hebrew, I really wouldn't know). Lina, the woman who made the "nas-Haani" remark to me is EASILY bigger than I am, but that's beside the point; skinniness is not something that's really valued here, or even flat abs and toned arms. They like the curves here, a little bit of flesh. So perhaps Lina's remark was meant to compliment, rather than insult :-)