I've been a frustrated parent lately, mostly with my son. While his Arabic has improved greatly over the past six weeks, his behavior at school hasn't. We've had an entire (half) week of hitting, shoving, and flat out disrespect to the teacher. I'm kind of feeling helpless in this situation because, while my son will act up at home, he only does it occasionally. As long as he's occupied, he's fine. And I don't expect him to be perfect, I just don't like hearing every day all the naughty things he did. It makes me feel like a HORRIBLE parent, like I can't take care of my kid.
I also feel like parenting books actually make things worse. It can be so confusing, getting all these mixed messages, each author tearing apart other parenting methods and explaining why "they just don't work", and then, after a few of these kinds of books, I had a minor revelation: actually, all of these books are saying more or less the same thing. They all say don't major on the minors, treat children with respect (and expect them to reciprocate), and be consistent in your parenting. They place where they differ is the method that the philosophy is carried out. So, I'm giving up on parenting books entirely. All they do is stress me out and make me second-guess myself.
5 comments:
Sharon, that must be so discouraging! Hang in there. Hopefully what is happening with your son is a phase, and he'll learn the appropriate kinds of behavior for that (and all) environments. There is no doubt that you are a FANTASTIC parent.
I don't read parenting books. Ever. I have never read a single book that is mentioned on The Mom Crowd. (Except the fiction ones I review, ha!) I feel that these books are mostly written to make money, and while I'm sure there is valuable information in them, they serve to confuse and cause doubt in my mind about what I do and why. I don't need that stress. (of course, this is just one mom's opinion) Good for you for making that call!
You are a great parent. No doubt. I teach a bunch of rowdy boys and boys are - well - boys. You're doing an amazing job. ~ Um Tulip
Hey! Catching up on your NaBloPoMo - its great. :)
I am sure that must be frustrating, because you aren't there at school to deal directly with the behavior yourself. I remember a parenting book that made me cry. For the record, I can't do Baby Wise. blah. But I found another one that worked for that child in that situation. Anyway, that is why my favorite parenting advice is "trust your instincts." I think God can give us the answer if we seek Him and His word. Although its hard to seek and hear from Him sometimes.
I agree, with the others here - YOu are a great mom!!
~Amanda
Thanks for the encouragement, ladies. We had a much better behavior report for the latter part of the week, so that was an answer to prayer! Also, I had an excellent report from his teacher at Sunday School, which has always been a bit of a problem area.
Amanda, I read Baby Wise too, but it ended up being a waste of my time. My kids just kind of naturally gravitated toward a schedule, and I didn't have many of the problems described in the book.
Louise is reading Baby Wise, and is taking it with a grain of salt. I pretty much figure that people I know who are currently raising kids, or who have raised kids successfully in the past are a much better source than some author who is trying to pay their mortgage. Basic principles and intuition (or as John 14:17 perhaps infers, inspiration) are all the tools I need.
Post a Comment